Week 3 / 4
How we can forgive
This week we look at the question of how we can forgive. Forgiveness is a process that begins with a decision – and it is important not to confuse the process with the decision. Even if doubt or pain comes back up, it doesn’t mean you haven’t forgiven.
In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus teaches us how to pray, and he puts special emphasis on forgiveness. This week you’ll discover how prayer and forgiveness belong together.
Choose a version
Forgiveness
How do we forgive?
Come together as a group.
Check in:
- How is everyone doing with this topic of forgiveness?
- How was last week’s practice?
- What is something God revealed to you during the practice?
- Did anything stand out to you about the story of Joseph?
This week we are focusing on how we forgive others.
Two parts
There are two parts to forgiveness.
- The choice to forgive.
- The process of forgiveness.
The choice to forgive can be instant. We decide in our hearts and we bring it before God and we declare to God that we are choosing to forgive this person.
Then we invite God to help us in the process of forgiveness. “God, help me to identify areas of hurt and bitterness and anger as I walk in the process of forgiveness. Help me to not bury the hurt but to give them over to you and let you bring healing to those areas.”
The process takes time.
Sometimes we get confused between our choice of forgiveness and the process of forgiveness. At times in our process we can still feel hurt, anger, and experience being triggered by situations that bring that hurt back to the surface. That can become confusing and then we question if we have truly forgiven the person. But making that choice to forgive can not be taken away from you. You have made the choice and you are being obedient to Christ in that choice. Don’t believe the lies that you are still walking in unforgiveness based on the feelings that can still arise throughout the process.
What if?
So why do we experience these triggers and feelings after we have made the choice to forgive? It might be that it is because God loves us so much. When we have been hurt we often don’t realize the depth of the hurt in the moment.
Why? Because it could be too overwhelming for us to handle. God takes us through the process to start revealing the different areas of pain, damage and trauma bit by bit so that we can handle it in a healthy way. God knows what we can handle and we can thank him for his gentle care of us as we walk through the process of forgiveness.
It is good to correct our mindset about triggers. Instead of feeling frustrated and angry about them, we can approach them as gifts from God who is leading us in the journey to freedom. They are often reminders of the areas we have not yet dealt with and also a sign of the area that God is wanting to start processing next. When we experience this we can take it before God and ask him to guide us.
Group Discussion Questions
- When have you questioned yourself about whether you have truly forgiven someone?
- What helped you during that time?
- What has been your process of forgiveness in the past?
And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
And pray like this:
Our Father
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Group Discussion Questions
- What stands out to you in this passage?
- How often should we pray about forgiveness?
- How does praying about forgiveness on a regular basis help us?
- How do you incorporate praying for forgiveness in your daily life?
The Practice
Read over the practice together.
Part One: Day One
- Read Genesis 39
- Journal the following questions on the following pages.
Day One
- What stands out to you about Joseph’s character?
- What is his relationship with God like?
- What does his heart look like?
- How has Joseph continued or stopped the cycle of hurt?
Day two
Read Genesis 40-41:49
Journal these questions:
- How faithful is Joseph in this process?
- In what areas is his character being tested?
- How would you have reacted if you were in Joseph’s position?
Day three
Read Genesis 41:50-57
What do you notice about Joseph’s process of forgiveness in this passage?
In modern day language we use the term forget when we have lost something from our memory but in scripture this is a term that is often used to explain that they no longer dwell on it or choose to emphasize it anymore.
When we look at Joseph’s story as a whole we see that he has not forgotten his suffering or his family but that he has chosen to forgive and no longer dwell on the hurt.
Part two: A prayer model
But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.
Start where you can. Sometimes the hurt is so painful it is hard for us to pray for the one who has harmed us. We desire justice and so we might feel inclined to pray for revenge. But God says for us to bless them and not curse them. I want to give you a model to use to start praying for those who have hurt you.
Guided Prayer
- Ask God to reveal to you how much he has forgiven you. This is not a place to fall into shame or guilt but a place of revelation of how much God loves you, how he welcomes you and how he forgives you.
- Acknowledge the pain and hurt that you felt by this person. Walk through the memory with the Lord. Hand the pain and hurt over to the Lord and ask him to bring healing to these places.
- Pray for God to reveal his love for this person who has hurt you. Ask him to give you perspective of why this person has caused you harm. Are they 100% in the wrong? Do you need to take responsibility for your part? What are the hurts they are carrying in themselves? Is God leading you to meet with this person to hear their story? Pray about that.
- Take some time to give God your right to retaliate and acknowledge God as a just and loving God.
- Ask God to help you know how to pray for this person through looking through his lens of love for them.
- Ask God to fill you with his love for them.
- Ask God to show you how you can pray blessings over them.
- Bless them.
Group Discussion Questions
- What are your thoughts about this week’s practice?
- What could help you during this week to stay engaged in the process of forgiveness?
- How are you experiencing the goodness of God through going deeper into forgiveness?
Take time to pray for each other. Find someone in your group to pray for and encourage during the week. We are better together!
© Copyright 2024 – Copyright notice
All photographs and graphics as well as the design of this online-document are protected by copyright. Unless expressly stated otherwise, the copyright lies with generations church Leipzig e.V. Please ask Tyler Charvat (Legal Notice generationschurch.de) if you would like to use the mentioned contents of this document.
Texts of this document are licensed under CC BY-NC 4.0. This means you may distribute, remix, adapt, and build upon the material in any medium or format, for noncommercial purposes only and you are required to give credit to the creator.
Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Forgiveness
How do we forgive?
Come together as a group.
Check in:
- How is everyone doing with this topic of forgiveness?
- How was last week’s practice?
- What is something God revealed to you during the practice?
- Did anything stand out to you about the story of Joseph?
This week we are focusing on how we forgive others.
This week we are focusing on how we forgive others. There are two parts to forgiveness.
- The choice to forgive.
- The process of forgiveness.
The choice to forgive can be instant. We decide in our hearts and we bring it before God and we declare to God that we are choosing to forgive this person.
Then we invite God to help us in the process of forgiveness. “God, help me to identify areas of hurt and bitterness and anger as I walk in the process of forgiveness. Help me to not bury the hurt but to give them over to you and let you bring healing to those areas.”
The process takes time.
Sometimes we get confused between our choice of forgiveness and the process of forgiveness. At times in our process we can still feel hurt, anger, and experience being triggered by situations that bring that hurt back to the surface. That can become confusing and then we question if we have truly forgiven the person. But making that choice to forgive can not be taken away from you. You have made the choice and you are being obedient to Christ in that choice. Don’t believe the lies that you are still walking in unforgiveness based on the feelings that can still arise throughout the process.
What if?
So why do we experience these triggers and feelings after we have made the choice to forgive? I believe that it is because God loves us so much. When we have been hurt we often don’t realize the depth of the hurt in the moment. Why? Because it could be too overwhelming for us to handle. God takes us through the process to start revealing the different areas of pain, damage and trauma bit by bit so that we can handle it in a healthy way. God knows what we can handle and we can thank him for his gentle care of us as we walk through the process of forgiveness.
It is good to correct our mindset about triggers. Instead of feeling frustrated and angry about them, we can approach them as gifts from God who is leading us in the journey to freedom. They are often reminders of the areas we have not yet dealt with and also a sign of the area that God is wanting to start processing next. When we experience this we can take it before God and ask him to guide us.
Questions for Reflection
- When have you questioned yourself about whether you have truly forgiven someone?
- What helped you during that time?
- What has been your process of forgiveness in the past?
And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
And pray like this:
Our Father
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Questions for Reflection
- What stands out to you in this passage?
- How often should we pray about forgiveness?
- How does praying about forgiveness on a regular basis help us?
- How do you incorporate praying for forgiveness in your daily life?
The Practice
Read over the practice for this week.
Part One: Day One
- Read Genesis 39
- Journal the following questions on the following pages.
Day One
- What stands out to you about Joseph’s character?
- What is his relationship with God like?
- What does his heart look like?
- How has Joseph continued or stopped the cycle of hurt?
Day two
Read Genesis 40-41:49
Journal these questions:
- How faithful is Joseph in this process?
- In what areas is his character being tested?
- How would you have reacted if you were in Joseph’s position?
Day three
Read Genesis 41:50-57
What do you notice about Joseph’s process of forgiveness in this passage?
In modern day language we use the term forget when we have lost something from our memory but in scripture this is a term that is often used to explain that they no longer dwell on it or choose to emphasize it anymore. When we look at Joseph’s story as a whole we see that he has not forgotten his suffering or his family but that he has chosen to forgive and no longer dwell on the hurt.
Part two: A prayer model
But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.
Prayer
Start where you can. Sometimes the hurt is so painful it is hard for us to pray for the one who has harmed us. We desire justice and so we might feel inclined to pray for revenge. But God says for us to bless them and not curse them. I want to give you a model to use to start praying for those who have hurt you.
Guided Prayer
- Ask God to reveal to you how much he has forgiven you. This is not a place to fall into shame or guilt but a place of revelation of how much God loves you, how he welcomes you and how he forgives you.
- Acknowledge the pain and hurt that you felt by this person. Walk through the memory with the Lord. Hand the pain and hurt over to the Lord and ask him to bring healing to these places.
- Pray for God to reveal his love for this person who has hurt you. Ask him to give you perspective of why this person has caused you harm. Are they 100% in the wrong? Do you need to take responsibility for your part? What are the hurts they are carrying in themselves? Is God leading you to meet with this person to hear their story? Pray about that.
- Take some time to give God your right to retaliate and acknowledge God as a just and loving God.
- Ask God to help you know how to pray for this person through looking through his lens of love for them.
- Ask God to fill you with his love for them.
- Ask God to show you how you can pray blessings over them.
- Bless them.
© Copyright 2024 – Copyright notice
All photographs and graphics as well as the design of this online-document are protected by copyright. Unless expressly stated otherwise, the copyright lies with generations church Leipzig e.V. Please ask Tyler Charvat (Legal Notice generationschurch.de) if you would like to use the mentioned contents of this document.
Texts of this document are licensed under CC BY-NC 4.0. This means you may distribute, remix, adapt, and build upon the material in any medium or format, for noncommercial purposes only and you are required to give credit to the creator.
Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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